off the hook

i hate the rain.

apparently the rain is necessary, just like seasons. or so they say. whoever ‘they’ is, i’m not buying it. i don’t feel refreshed, the allergy-induced cough is still here, and life slowing down only reminds me to stop and smell the dank staleness of life. ok, maybe the second one has to do with a chronic disease called asthma, and the third point is a little melodramatic.

today just took to get through. already mindful of the shadows hiding behind the sunshine, when everything is gray all i see are the shadows. that whole “winter helps you appreciate life when it is good” bs needs to end.

(keep in mind it rained for maybe a total of four hours today. seasonal affective disorder called…)

nonetheless, today my pride was pinpricked a little bit. come to think of it, that’s not a terrible thing. i don’t think so highly of myself that people should get to know me. if the sun was shining i’d probably actually say “eh, don’t worry about it.”

but golly, if i make an effort, doesn’t that mean something?

let’s be honest. i get things right 5% of the time…on a good day. but i’ve been the recipient of a lot of missed meetings and overslept alarm clocks and double bookings and too-polite-to-make-a-damn-decision waffling. i really wouldn’t make the effort to see you if i didn’t care. promise.

please show up.

ever feel like you’ve handed out the EGR card one too many times? yeah, extra grace required. for the record, no one needs it more than i. seriously.

today, though, i simply vent. and bemoan lightning-and-thunderless rain.

speaking of “they”…

ps, i hope two posts in one day counts for the next two weeks that i don’t blog.

pps, i really don’t hate the rain.


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