take two

after re-reading that last post, i apologize. i had already spent four hours on a plane, and I was (at the time) a bit flustered by the brosef who was uncomfortable with the grinding gears. It’s true: grinding gears do grind my gears. but the sour mood reflected in my poor writing. don’t get me wrong, this is no work of art; nonetheless, I press on. Instead of editing the entire post, i’ll take bits and pieces from the last one and create something else here…at least i’ll try.

did you ever get fed up? i mean did you ever get scared that every thing was going to go lousy unless you did something? …that’s my point. i don’t hardly get anything out of anything. i’m in bad shape. i’m in lousy shape.

i’ve once again finished the catcher in the rye, and, as they say, the third time’s the charm. perhaps it is because i read it after completing a bachelor’s degree in psychology, or perhaps it is because i live with a clinical psychologist, but it seems as if i read a 200-page session.

a tedious, detailed long session.

so naturally i headed to the world wide web. typing in “catcher in the rye psychology” i found a nifty little blurb. as it turns out, dear holden reflects what is known as” identity diffusion, a developmental stage where a young person feels a lack of a solid identity and goes on a search for it” (

a lack of solid identity? It’s as if jd salinger knew I just completed seminary! as i finish with formal studies at fuller, i wonder: am i supposed to have the answers? goodness, i hope not.  proper ecclesiology, non-western theologies on the atonement, ten seeds v. appreciative inquiry, and my personal favorite: critical contextualization…golly, i don’t know. i’ve read a bit more, but let’s be honest: i’ve been in academia my whole life. what do I have to contribute? am i in lousy shape?

ok, perhaps this is a bit much. a week removed from finishing up my final quarter—and back on the east coast and a few bbq dinners richer—i am quite satisfied not having all the answers. more than satisfied, though, i am excited to process through less-than structured means. that is, i may review a book or a film here and there, but don’t expect any connections to open theology (mostly because i still can’t define it). taking note of life’s absurdities and sharing adventures in la, though, certainly remains. back to the nesting place…both geographically and metaphorically.

in his own way, holden taught me that.


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